Ask Auntie Sai

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Therapeutic answers for real-life questions
Parenting • Relationships • Growth
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Ask Kai 💬
Real takes for real teen questions
Friends • Family • School • Life
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"Exciting news! Every week, Auntie and Kai will be answering your questions right here on my Instagram page @Blairdiazcounseling.

Stay tuned for insightful advice and heartfelt responses that will help you navigate life's challenges!"

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Important Disclaimer

Ask Auntie Sai provides general educational information, perspectives, and guidance intended for informational and entertainment purposes. Although Ask Auntie Sai may draw upon professional mental health knowledge and experience, responses are not individualized mental health treatment, psychotherapy, diagnosis, or medical advice and should not be considered a substitute for professional care.Submitting a question to Ask Auntie Sai, receiving a response, or interacting with Ask Auntie Sai does not establish a therapist-client relationship with BlairDiaz Counseling, Sairis Blair-Diaz, or any affiliated professional.Because responses are based only on the information provided, they may not fully reflect an individual's circumstances, history, needs, or level of risk. Readers should use their own judgment and seek an appropriately licensed mental health or medical professional for concerns requiring individualized assessment, diagnosis, treatment, or crisis intervention.Ask Auntie Sai is not a crisis service. If you are experiencing an emergency, are in immediate danger, or believe you may harm yourself or someone else, contact 911, go to the nearest emergency department, or contact an appropriate crisis service in your area.Questions and responses may be edited, anonymized, or generalized for educational or content purposes. Do not submit confidential, highly sensitive, or identifying information about yourself or another person.By submitting a question, you acknowledge that Ask Auntie Sai is an educational advice feature and not a substitute for individualized professional mental health care.Ask Auntie Sai is a feature of BlairDiaz Counseling

ASK AUNTIE SAI 💬

Question:
“If two people go out and pay 50/50, is it still considered a date?”

🌿 Junior in the Wild Says:

Absolutely. A date is about intention, not who picks up the check.

If two people intentionally spend time together to connect, bond, or build a relationship, it's a date. You could split the bill 50/50, one person could pay, or you could do something completely free.

If someone refuses to call it a date simply because they had to contribute financially?

🚩 That's a red flag to me. You're supposed to be getting to know the person—not dating their wallet.

🔥 Junior's Pro Tip:
If you thoughtfully plan something and the other person does nothing but bitch, complain, whine, and moan because it wasn't expensive enough, pay attention. Someone who genuinely likes you should value the time and effort, not just the price tag.

BUT—there's an amendment! 😂

Don't use that as an excuse to be cheap or thoughtless. Put your best foot forward. Listen to what the person likes and plan with them in mind.

Bottom line:
💰 Money doesn't make it a date.
❤️ Intention, effort, and connection do.

— Junior in the Wild

Featured "Ask Auntie Sai"

Ask Auntie Sai 💭

Question:

"Why does it feel like our generation—Generation X—is seen as apathetic? Gen X is often painted as withdrawn, unmemorable, jaded, and always questioning things. Are we really apathetic, or did what we experienced make us this way?"

— Gen X and Questioning It

Auntie Sai Says:

Dear — Gen X and Questioning It

I don't exactly agree with the idea that Gen X is apathetic, but I absolutely understand why you feel that your generation is perceived that way.

I'm technically not Gen X—I'm off by about two years—but culturally, I grew up very much influenced by the Gen X experience.

And when you look at what Gen X grew up around, I think there's another way to interpret some of those characteristics.

This was a generation that came of age during the AIDS epidemic, the crack epidemic, changing family structures, increasing divorce rates, and major shifts in how children were raised and protected.

Many were also latchkey kids.

As more women entered and remained in the workforce, plenty of kids came home from school to an empty house. You made yourself something to eat. You did your homework—or didn't. You watched your younger siblings. You figured things out. And your parents expected you to handle it.

That kind of childhood can create independence and resilience, but it can also teach you:

Don't complain.
Figure it out.
Handle your own problems.
Question what you're told.
And don't expect somebody to come rescue you.

So what gets labeled as apathy might sometimes be something very different.

It might be self-reliance.

It might be skepticism.

It might even be a little bit of, "We've seen some things, so you're going to have to show me before I believe you."

And let's not forget the other side of growing up during that era.

Gen X witnessed the rise of hip-hop, the cultural phenomenon of Michael Jackson, and the unforgettable music, fashion, television, and pop culture of the '80s and '90s.

You also experienced something that younger generations never will in quite the same way: a childhood largely without the internet followed by an adulthood transformed by it.

You remember life before cell phones, social media, Google, texting, and being reachable every second of the day—and then watched all of it arrive.

That's an enormous amount of cultural change for one generation to absorb.

So, are some Gen Xers jaded?

Probably.

But I wouldn't automatically call that apathy.

Sometimes what looks like "I don't care" from the outside is actually:

"I've been through enough to know what deserves my energy."

And maybe that's one of Gen X's most misunderstood characteristics.

You didn't disappear. You adapted.

— Auntie Sai

Teen Takes

💬

Q: Why do I feel sad when I know I'm going to try something for the first time?

AUNTIE SAI'S TAKE:

That feeling actually makes sense.

What you're calling sadness might be a whole mix of emotions happening at the same time—nervousness, anxiety, uncertainty, excitement, and yes, maybe some sadness too.

When you're about to do something you've never done before, your brain doesn't know exactly what to expect.

What if I don't know what I'm doing?
What if everyone else already knows each other?
What if I feel awkward?
What if I don't fit in?

All that uncertainty can feel pretty heavy.

One trick is to stop focusing on everything that's unknown and find the parts that are already familiar.

Starting a new grade?

Okay—you've never been in this grade before. But maybe you already know the school. You know how to get around. You recognize some students. You know some teachers. You already know more than your anxiety is giving you credit for.

And here's something else to remember:

Most of the other students haven't been in that grade before either.

You aren't the only beginner in the room.

Sometimes humor helps too. Give yourself permission to laugh at the awkward moments instead of expecting yourself to know exactly what you're doing.

The same idea applies to trying out for a team, starting a job, joining a club, going somewhere new, meeting new people, or doing just about anything for the first time.

Being uncomfortable doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.

Sometimes it just means:

“I've never done this before.”

And that's okay.

KEEP IT 100 💯

You don't have to feel confident before trying something new. Sometimes confidence shows up after you've done the scary thing a few times.